what if

i have a friend who i visit once every 3-4 weeks. she's a great listener, and gives pretty good advice - regardless of my desire for advise, good or not. if she passes any sort of judgement on me, she's never shown it.
of course, i pay her for all of this. it's worth it.

a month or so ago, she suggested i write down every what if question that passes through my mind. this, she explained, would help me identify stressors, those things that cause me anxiety. (she has suggested that i may have some control and anxiety issues, which have led to an "addiction" to the adrenaline brought on by being stressed out. we're working on reprogramming my brain to function happily without a constant, heightened state of anxiety or stress.) from there, we can rework those questions into manageable statements - what if i miss a call from my boss becomes if i miss a call from my boss, i'll return the call as soon as possible.

i didn't write down every what if - if i did, i wouldn't have time to do anything else, but i did write down a pretty good cross section of them. i think there were 50 or so on the list, ranging from the normal, what if i miss a call from my boss, to the (perhaps) absurd, what if i lose my job because i missed a call from my boss or what if my parents think i'm a total fuck up?

my friend read over the list last week.
she said it stressed her out...

i wonder if that means she may be right about me.